Lyrics after the jump.

So I got this girl in the sex nid-arena
Getting ready to put my Poke-flue in between her.
First I take it slow bro, you know, play it Tentacool
When I Poliwag my Weedle oh how it makes her drool
I’m hard as a rock, and this girl seems hooked on onix
Cause she puts her Meowth on my Pidgey and takes it like a bong hit
Then she’s starting to Machoke, which isn’t very cool
I don’t want to risk the Chance, see, of being Tentacruel
With the greatest swiftness, I slide off her Kabutop
And make her great paras come unleashed and drop
She’s seaking to be drilled, while I’m hoping she’s infertile
Playing with those jigglypuffs, trying veno-not to Squirtle
I Exegcute that foreplay, and now I’m ready to Cubone
Trying to finish quickly before her Mr. Mime gets home
But she stops before I can start the Manky Panky
And Says “Since I had to Staryu, you have to Starmie”
So since she did me, I guess I have to Ditto
I get down on my knees and pone-eat a Pidgetto
Give her a Slowpoke before I dive into that girl
And attack her cloyster with a full polywhirl
I Lickitung her Lapras, tasting on that Magicarp-et
Hoping she’s not Krabby, that’d be gastly and would make my heart sick
Yes that Persian rug was clef-hairy, but I didn’t really mind
Since I could ring the Victory bell, I was getting some behind
Down there for so long, I came up Koffing and Wheezing
I got her seel of approval though, cause she’s Growlith-ing and breathing
Wanting to gravel her, feeling so sand-shrewd
Give her an electabuzz with my spear-oh too
I’d tell you her name, but don’t think she’s a whore, see?
Not to many get her rapidash, tonight she’s just rhyhorn-y,
So I start Rhydon like the Machamp, feel like I could roar
Going so hard that I probably made her ivy sore
She wanted my Arbok so I gave her gear a dose
Going so hard that her Mew almost tauros
Inside that butterfree, feeling like a charmelon bucks
Constantly Jolteon her from the power of my Psyduck
Now I must have gone and jinxed it, somewhere in the equation
Cause she started getting drowzee during the copulation
I didn’t even notice, I kept going at her Golbat
But then something seemed Oddish when I she started to snorelax
I tried to wake her up, zu-but she was pory-gone
And she’d have to be awake before I’d get my flare on.
Of course I felt gloom, I thought I had been charming’ her
And now I can’t Grime her voltorb or I’ll be harming her
My Dewgong can’t Muk, and if he does it’d be rude
But this is still better then the time I brought home a Geodude
With my pants down and my bell sprouted, I feel I got to doduo
So I Maro-walked into the bathroom, and when I leave, what do I view?
That my girl’s awake again-gar, which seems kind of farfetched
And provoked some Poliwrath at the thought that she fake-slept
I asked her what was wrong, does she not like it when I pinsir?
And she responded with, “Calm down a second, Spencer.
If you think your sex is good, your wrong, if you think your hip, no,
The only thing you’re good at is Nintendo.”
I love this girl a magneton, and hearing that was wiggly tough.
The eevee-ning had started well, but now was turning rough
Told her “Wait a parasect, please stay the omanyte,
You’re my goldeen girl, and if you leave I magne-might
E-raticate my life, cause you are my pharaoh!
It’s to early in the night to give me the kabuto!”
And she says, “Way back when, when I first took a peek at you.
I thought you were kind of cute and that you’d want my mew too.
I felt electrodes in the air when I saw you and you saw me
But that was before I knew your Diglett was so Dragtini!”
I didn’t know the size of my Dodrio mattered, and my god,
Here I thought we were like two Caterpies in a Metapod
I hope the memories of me haunt her, I hope she never leaves her shellder
“I hope you see dra light soon,” I go and I tell her.
“I know you think your hot shit, but I’m actually exegg-cuter.
I’m the omastar, the Kingler, I can find another suitor.
I’m sorry about the time I gave you Wartortles and blisters
Or when I suggested a dugtrio with your sister.
But if you still want go, I won’t beg like our canine.
Golduck with your life, I’m having a Blastoise with mine.”
And that night, Misty left me, I felt so vileplume
I reckons that dragon night was the beginning of the doom
But I guess men are from Magmars women from Venusaur
And every thing tangelable, there’s a reason for
I learned this the next week, when bad news filled the dragonair
My heart got machopped in half like a scyther giving it a tear
A phone call from her mother told me a kakuna in her head
Had attached to her vulpix, and now Misty was dead.
I thought it was a cle-fable that those things were hitmon-lethal
I had heard eight or ninetales about gol-them from different people
But I still couldn’t believe it, I started weepin, belting out tears
Cuts and slashes vaporeonizing all of our years
It was like Riach-uno, Zap-dos, Mol-tres, and she’s gone
And I can’t abra kadabra with some magic wand
No alacazam and she reappears, I feel like a primeape
They could have caught the growth but the Kangascans came back to late
I pidgey-ought to have known better, but the news was quite charz-hard
My heart felt bulba-sore, was permanently scarred
She was my Nidoqueen, I should not have nido-ran
I wanted to be her Nidoking, but I felt more like a hitman-chan
If I hadn’t nidoran, would she still be with us?
Or is my poke-love just to damn venomoth?
Insides numb like the artic, you know that feeling
A gun ratatta-ed my heart and I’m just waiting for the healing
But I don’t regret getting hit with cupid’s arrow-dact-all
Relationships are like pokemon, you gotta catch em’ all.

Nidarino.

By Brandon Daley

It really fills my heart with joy when I hear a good love story, and I am especially happy to hear it from my friends. This past weekend one of my friends told me how she hates when her fiance makes the bacon flavored sausages he likes to eat for breakfast. She wakes up smelling the bacon and wants it, except there is never bacon only sausages! She does not like to touch the raw meat so she never makes the bacon for herself. “Why can’t we have some pancakes and bacon for breakfast once in a while?”

So of course she starts to get mad when she comes down the stairs, following the delicious aroma of bacon that teases her constantly. Was it sausages? NOPE!!! Heartshaped pancakes and bacon! Real bacon! He made her a special breakfast because he said it was her special day. The first time she will try on her wedding dress! Awwwww..

The water is a great way for dogs to cool down during the summer. Some really love it! Here are some photos I found of dogs enjoying the water

pintavelloso says “Look out Pinta! Here comes the Spiderman! Pinta enjoying a cool swim on a hot day! check out the water splash=)”

Duemeister says “My Golden Retriver puppy Angel taking a flying leap.”

Photo by Twose

I don’t care if this little dude is in a diaper, he is awesome! I’m very impressed by his performance of this classic Beatles’ hit. Especially love the “better better betterbetterbetter AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” part, so hilarious! and Adorable! YAY! He’s really pretty good though!

Here’s my 2 yr old American Eskimo, doing some of his favorite tricks for us!

Ever wonder what your pets do when you leave them at home for the day? We were surprised to find out that Niko the American Eskimo and Guinness the German Spitz have been training hard for their competitive ribbon dancing routines.

This is a photo I took with my iphone yesterday during a charity booze cruise. I think that wind turbines are adorable. They look so minimalistic and from the future. We should be using more and more of them!

I keep watching this over and over because the song is just so catchy, and it’s really cute and funny too. Love love love it! LUFF it. Thank you schmoyoho. Double rainbow double rainbow allll the waaay!